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the moose

the moose
by Hieronymus and the pizard

okay...once upon a time there was a moose with a magic glow in the dark arse...well this moose one day was walking on the top of a dam , when he noticed...

noticed that his feet were rising up off of the ground. he immediately realized that he now had the power of flight, but of course he was terribly mistaken, actually what was happening was...

that that which made his arse a glow in the dark arse was not at all magic but rather special metals which an evil witch/gnome in the village of san Micravagio was using a huge magnet to summons him so that he might do her evil bidding... little did she know htat

that her arch-nemesis, Robot Bill had a device of his own, one of even greater power, one that could turn any food item into a small piece of brown stuff, which Robot Bill called "foob". this device also had a strange side effect, which was to counteract the evil witch/gnome's magnet

oh this didnt go over very well with the witch gnome who made this unnatural kind of gurgling sound she does when she gets mad, a sound which the author will refrain from describing in any length as it is a terrible monstrous sound that no god would allow to exist on his good green earth... anyways, the curious "foob" device which didn't work quite as well as he had hoped it would (the "foob" kept loosing shape and craving human flesh) only counteracted the witch gnome machine but did nothing to attract the Magic Moose to where he was...luckily the moose did not fall to his bloody death because...

because of a band of singing monkeys. they were fishing and couldn't help but notice the large glowing arse of the moose. they saw him in the air and discussed at length whether or not moose could fly. in the end they agreed that no, they couldn't, and decided they should help the hideous freak. they rushed to their monkeymobile and..

were distracted by the gorgoeous monker strippers that the evil witch gnome had sent over to distract the simple mided monkeys, who had very little talent...it is therefore fortunate that at the time a bunch of happy Canadian do-gooders, who really do nothing more than do around doing good and annoying the people with their decent acts...anyways the band of do gooders decided that the monkeys were more suited to helping hte freakish moose, so they devised a plan to lure the stripping monkeys away with some avaerage tasting "foob" which mokeys eem to really dig, and allow the band of singing mokeys to go back to their task. The singing monkeys then proceeded to get out a large...

a large peper airplane, which they surmised would be able to fly up and gently float the moose down to safety. however this airplane was so big that the monkeys could not throw it, so instead they stood it on end. the moose grabbed then grabbed the tip and gracefully slid down to his monkey saviours. "thanks" said the moose, but all the monkeys could say was "wassup", as was their training. the moose then resumed doing whatever it is he was doing before this incident, however he could not remember what this was so instead he...

commpletely ignored the fact that he was merely a pawn in a strategic game played by two powerful forces, one good one evil...he just was satisfied walking around in the water and splashing it at the monkeys who had a very funny reaction at which he laughed and laughed until the monkeys started to become hostile...little did he suspect htat soon afterwards the two forces would once again match up and that he would have to ....

have to find a way to get off the planet, or else be forever tortured by the evil witch and Robot Bill, who have no interest in his life, only in his glowing metal arse, which has special powers. he did not realize any of this, but his friend the koala bear did...

and so Koala comes to him a say "My dear chap! Really cant you see that you are no more than a pawn in the game of these twisted and demented people? By jove, we really must get you away, post haste! As for these charming monkey fellows, do get them to stop sniffing me..." But all Magic Moose could do was lick himself as he did not seem to understand any of this...so Koala Bear called upon his friend George the martian...

however, little did the koala know that george had been replaced by an evil ninja robot. as soon as "george" saw the koala he tore off his fuzzy right arm and beat him over the head with it. the moose would have helped his friend, had it not been for the evil witch's minions, who had surrounded him. the monkeys had to act quickly. "wassup?" one of them said. but it was all too late, because right then the entire planet exploded, and all of our charactrers were completely destroyed. the end


we had another story before this one, but it is lost forever because of a computer error.
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