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Peace Monkey Flimp: Lyrics

I am The Beast.

S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

--side/disc 1--

X L X  1. sex tools are fun
(lyrics: paul; music: paul; "weed wacker": robbie)
mr. weed wacker

X L X  2. the beginning
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
in the beginning, there was no music. the world was a lifeless rock, and it sucked. soon music came. the beginning of happiness had started. god saw this and decided to jam himself. so he came down and became the lead singer of the doors, and that was good. so lived earth. good music came, and good music went. then came the 80s and it sucked hard. luckily the 80s rejects have passed and now, we're here again: good music has returned, and so flourishes the piz. and that was good. now enter the realm of the peace monkey flimp. here you will not find 80s reject music, so sit back, relax, and listen to insert piz here. because all is good, and that is good, because it's good to be good, which is good. and good is good, so that is good.

X L X  3. tom can't square dance
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
bread and lonely spinach in my teeth
take me tuesday, big blob of beef
(monkey monkey monkey)
pig in hand but not right now
don't eat gold and milk my cow
(monkey monkey monkey)
neck brace, but on my leg
crash the butt right in the peg
(monkey monkey monkey)
tell you the truth in my mother's milk
i love you. please wear my kilt
(monkey monkey monkey)
please don't speak leather pants
i eat rocks and army ants
(monkey monkey monkey)
hurting me is not the way
kick me tomorrow but not today
the world is false, do not believe
i think it would be better if you should leave
cowboy hats and purple butts
they all add up to bloody cuts
mother pig eat your young
animal killer, wasn't that fun?
take me home, i'm not well
see you all in the land of hell
(monkey monkey monkey)

X L X  4. puker chops & banna pells
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
la la la la
shut up
Joe was eating his corn flakes, the kind that Kellogg's likes to make.
told his dad to make his lunch, give him a snack for him to munch.
dad didn't like what Joe had said, took a knife and whacked his head.
Joe's head rolled down on the floor, mom looked in, and he said more.

chorus-
dad went mad, dad went mad.
took a knife and whacked off my head.
dad went mad, dad went mad.
took a knife and now I'm dead.

mommy's head rolled on the floor; he looked down and said, "you whore."
went upstairs to get the gun. said he's going to have some fun.
dad got his gun, a 24 mag. shot the dog and called him a fag.
cops pulled up, took him right there, pulled out every piece of his hair.

(chorus)

they read him his rights, said, "do you dig?"
my dad replied with, "the hell with you, pig."

(chorus)

X L X  5. coke and a bad day at work.
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
i'll fire your coke

X L T  6. butthole
(lyrics: robbie w/mike lopez; music: reuben w/the piz)
green pens, purple hens, big rugs, mutant bugs,
soda cans, pots and pans, chair back, guy name mac

chorus- butt hole, butt holey-hole

table salt, black cult, hair cuts, gay mutts, mother goose,
hang loose, telephone, no one's home, ear wax, i play jacks

{chorus]

butterfly, purple sky, government, elephant,
green grass, big ass, back pack, lunch sack, ugly man, go in can,

[chorus]

people hate and discriminate, paper sheet, i hate meat, say something,
dogs are humping, christmas tree, take a pee, shoe horn, yellow corn

[chorus]

5, bee hive, ear lace, keep up pace, jean pants, army ants, pin holes,
cow poles, have a look, learn in book,

[chorus]

chewing cud, elmerfudd, don't eat cows, take me now,
stop this song, it was long.

[chorus]

X L X  7. 666 hell
(the piz)
-instrumental-

X L X  8. cheese and mayonnaise sandwich
(the piz)
we're not going to tell you.
ha ha ha ha ha ha.

X L X  9. thmc.693
(music: the piz; lyrics: robbie)
riding in the back of a pick up truck, i dressed fine but he's dressed up.
he looks like a giant clown, on my face there is a frown,
how the hell did he get this way, i would like to know but that's ok.
i'm not sure what he's about, someday i'm sure i'll find out.
he is strange but so am i, so that's alright now please don't cry.
all my friends are strange like him, maybe it's me but the chances are slim,
doing what i do, i live this way, being really stupid and i don't get paid,
sitting in class i write these songs, i'm in math so i can't go wrong.
learning nothing but crap all day, i may be stupid but that's ok,
i live my life just being strange, doing the best, trying not to change.
i don't know what's going on, you could explain but it's probably too long.
walking through this world i feel just fine, but sometimes i feel like a ball of twine.
rollin' along through this land of ours, i need a drink and reuben
needs a car. so, until we meet again, goodbye for now, and later my friend.

X L X  10. ride my cow
(lyrics: paul; music: paul & reuben)
ya happy?

S L T  11. pancakes & broccoli
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
every morning when i wake up, i have my broccoli in my cup
broccoli broccoli is good for me, broccoli broccoli is better than tea.

chorus:
pancakes and broccoli. broccoli.
pancakes and broccoli. broccoli.

every afternoon when i have my lunch, and boy those pancakes i love to munch
pancakes, pancakes, and broccoli too, i love my pancakes better than you.

[chorus]

every evening when i go to bed, i have that broccoli in my head
i may be obsessed but that's ok, i had my broccoli throughout the day.

[chorus]

X L X  12. BIGGER THAN LIFE MAC DADDY
(lyrics: the piz w/lyndsey; music: paul)
lyndsey the mac daddy

X L X  13. weird noise
(the piz)

X L X  14. happy days
(the piz)
ladies and gentlemen!
on wednesday, october 18th, 1995, paul joseph henry III has broken his first drumstick, at 7:16 and 37 seconds, pm. while playing "lyndsey, the mac daddy." how do you feel about this, paul? what do you think?
but i could think though
yeah alright paul!

X L X  15. fun with bob and his best buddy
(the piz)
oh what a guy
he's such a man
he's really hairy
all over his chest
come sit by me
you studly man
oh look at your pecs
they're really cute
oh whatta butt
it's so damn firm
spend the night with me
take off you pants
come sleep with me
you're so damn cute
oh whatta man
here's 50 bucks
let's go get married
we'll have some fun
we'll get a son

X L X  16. the dollar sign of mars
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
oh look under the christmas tree, a package waiting there just for me
open the box and look inside, set it down there by my side
it's the thing i had to get, it's my brand new chia pet

chorus: chia x a lot

watering the brand new friend i got, trying not to make it really hot.
it is there when i want to talk, i am there when it wants to walk.
he has grassy thick green hair, we go almost everywhere.

[chorus]

i love him, he loves me. we're the best of friends, you see
i know that he's not alive, that's ok cause neither am i.
can't you see just who i am, i am spam, a can of spam
you thought i was a human man, i am spam, i am spam.

[chorus]

X L X  17. beast
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
i am the beast, i am the one that lives inside you,
i am the beast, i am the one that tries to hide you.
i will steal your soul, i will make it my own,
i will take your life, you will listen, cause i have grown,
into the beast. into the one that tries to eat you,
i am the beast, i am the one that will not greet you.
i am the beast, i am the one that takes your drugs,
i am the beast, i am the one that makes your bugs.
i am the beast.
i am the one that kills your mother,
i am the beast. i am the one that likes to hurt,
i am the one that will kill another,
i am the beast. i am the one that killed the kurt.
i am the beast, i am the one that will destroy you,
i am the beast, i am the one that likes to toy you.
i am the beast, i am the one inside you all,
i am the beast, i am the one that will make you full.
i am the beast.

X L X  18. pappy smurf and his merry men
(trad. arr. by the piz)
laa laa la-lalalaa, laa lala la laaa,
laa laa la-lalalaa, laa lala la laaa.

X L X  19. you smell of peaches
(the piz)
hey guys want to hear something funny?

X L X  20. this represents nothing cubed.
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
eating apple pie is a simple thing to do.
throwing rocks at cows is a simple thing to do.
counting one to ten is a simple thing to do.
adding 2+2 is a simple thing to do. bam

simple things for a simple mind, simple thing for a simple kind.
throwing rocks is not that hard, painting on walls is not that hard. bam

killing pigs is a simple thing to do.
eating meat is a simple thing to do.
sitting down is a simple thing to do.
watching the grass is a simple thing to do. bam

(lunch anyone?)
simple things for a simple mind, simple things for a simple kind
cutting your nails is not that hard, writing your name is not that hard
simple ways to live my life, simple things and you don't need a life. bam

live your life with simple ways
live your life and you'll be ok
brushing your teeth is a simple thing to do
combing your hair is a simple thing to do
singing this song is a simple thing to do
singing this song is a simple thing to do
bam

X L X  21. i got a stonkey
(the piz)
do not enter when flooded.
my dog has an enlarged head.
giant deers run in my socks.
my front teeth have chicken pox.
gourmet spinach it is fun.
if my mom sees i will run.
i ate the spinach all of it.
now i have to take a big ....... smurf!!

X L X  22. the big time MAC MOMMA!!!!!!
(lyrics: the piz; music: reuben)
allison the mac momma

X L X  23. ask him what to call it
(lyrics: josh adams; music: the piz)
i am bored
oh so bored
i wish that i had something to do
i feel sober
way too sober
i think it's time to sniff some glue.

chorus-
i like glue
smell me glue
i like glue
sniff you glue

i am high
way too high
i don't have anything to do
i feel dizzy
oh so dizzy
do you want to sniff some glue

[chorus]

i feel sick
far too sick
i think that i am puking too
my head hurts
hurts too much
i think i need to sniff some more glue.

[chorus]

X L X  24. living on my best friends body
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
door number one, door number two, or door number three?
um, i choose um uhh i choose i choose door number three
no don¹t choose that one anything but that. no
welcome to hell my friend, here you will find everything you need, all the crap: knives, guns, fire and of course daemons, yes, that's right soul sucking, evil black demons.
you have entered the realm of hell, well, i hope you enjoy your stay. for
your pleasure we have hot tubs, aerobics and yummy shish kabob. you better get
comfy because you're here for eternity. here's your chance to meet the devil. aaaaaah.
he welcomes you with open arms. he is red, evil and sinister so please don't try to
use your charm. he'll take you in and put you up, nail your head right to the wall,
he'll suck your eyes and eat your face. you better be sorry 'cause this ain't the fun hall.
hell is not a happy place to visit or to live in, so you better think twice
before you commit your sins.

X L X  25. *ride my cow take 1 (CD only)
(lyrics: paul; music: paul, reuben)
i'm not gonna do those sucky drums
ya happy?

X L X  26. *robbie language (CD only)
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
?

--side/disc 2--

X L X  1. the only thing left
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
i have no brains, i have no brains.
they flew away; i have no brains.
i have no feet, i have no feet.
they ran away; i have no feet.

chorus-
there is nothing left
nothing left for me
there is nothing left
nothing left to see

i have no hands, i have no hands.
they walked away; i have no hands.
i have no eyes, i have no eyes,
they rolled away; i have eyes.

[chorus]

i have no head, i have no head.
it bounced away; i have no head.
i'm singing with, i'm singing with
my own tongue, its the only thing left
that has not gone.

X L X  2. bored but not beaten
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
when i sit in this math class, my brain and brain heart slow down and stop.
i sit in my chair dead and drooling, now i'm thinking, lord, i'm bored.

chorus-
i am bored

i've been suspended for two whole days, all i did was sit and grow mold on my toes,
i had nothing to do or play, but now i'm back and i will say, lord,
i'm still bored!

[chorus]

watching the clock tick away, i sit and pick my nose, for i have nothing to do,
so i write stupid songs like this one, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever,
but still...
i'm bored!!!!!!!!

X L X  3. brass knuckles
(the piz)
when i'm in my jungle watch that jane,
something happens that i cannot explain
i get all hard and tingly inside,
and it's really hard for me cause i can't hide
walking through the jungle, looking for that girl,
maybe i'll buy her an expensive pearl.
then one night i was sleeping in my tent,
she came along with a guy name trent,
out i went and with my fist put a big dent into trent.
i took her right there and went back in,
then she had some ice cream, in a little brass tin.

i like jane

X L X  4. pigs
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
going to a country where you don't know how to speak
makes you really stupid and it makes you really weak
before you go to mexico please learn how to talk,
and if you don't and then you go, your sure to get mocked.

sí habla español

i can't speak the language, i don't have the tongue,
and in this stupid country the streets are filled with dung.

sí habla español
onniconcbr burrito
enchilada
tostada
señor taco

i can't tell what they're saying, i don't know a thing,
i can't speak the language, i just don't have the ring.

eoubvoncpoem epimxo,x yr mxorinvoo
that's the song and that is it
anybody want a burrito?

X L X  5. i don't like stupid
(the piz)
laaa!

X L X  6. ok
(the piz)
AAAAHH

X L X  7. one two many pieces of bread
(the piz)
milkweed
ha ha cough cough

X L X  8. the mysterious world of the bean plant
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
my shoes are green, they have no pants, they cut their hair, it get in my way.
my cat has eyes, it has no shoes it plays the drums, it has no fingers,
that's ok, cause i don't care. my beans are blue, they have no socks,
they love my cows, i eat my beans, they are happy.

chorus--
beans make me happy, beans make me happy

my nose is hot, it likes to bleed, it has no shoes, i cut it off.
i have this cow, it makes me laugh, for its dinner, it eats its beans,
they are happy.

[chorus]

i have this guy. he has no shoes, he likes to hurt, all my cows, i tell him no,
he eats my beans, i punch him hard, with my fist, out comes my beans,
i eat them and they are happy.

[chorus]

i have this door, it likes to walk, it uses my shoes, but that's ok,
cause it is green, it carries a flag, on its knob, it wears my shorts,
i eat my beans, and we are happy.

[chorus]

now my beans are all gone, that's ok, cause i have another can in my pocket.

we go mad!!!!!!!!

X L X  9. this song is gay
(lyrics: paul & robbie w/jonbobby mcfee; music: casio w/reuben)
hey paul, how ya doing
robbie, like those pants
feet under my drum, eh
k-mart, toilet tray
shirt flannel and me
doorknob, take a pee
toolbox basketball under the wall and here's the way
dog bit my arm. run on the grass and fly to new arm
thirstbuster, rock trip over. rock and feet and pow
zit, really big on my nose. gonna oxycute it, where's the hose
i gotta go rip out my nose, put it in the fridge
when i come back, i'll eat it. shove it up my mom
don't forget your toes, my friend. drive to the mall with a big hen
oh look, there's an eyeball. oh wait, i think that's mine
yellow teeth, stink mey breath, came along with a big head
pig horse cow, can of soap
tablecloth. and a little brass rope.
metal desk, golden plate. upside down with a guy named nate
nate put on my wallpaper. i gave him a kiss and a shaker
ice cream burger yummy for me, i love to eat all the snails in my ass
lemonade, henry 203. coldampruvement, and i'm really tree
upside this ship, lasagna. cheek go chicago, and onya
tree flavor, window. brass on the floor saw the cat come and he asked for more
robbie are you still on the phone? could you get off i have to call someone.
phone call over, that is all. someone take my foot to the mall
gotta go, see ya soon. gonna have sex with a dog on the moon

X L X  10. mandarin lime
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
sitting on top of the t.v. set, thinking of people i could have met.
eating the grass i picked today, wondering if i'll be ok
why did they take my job, just because my name was bob?
not knowing what just to say, i hated my job anyway!!!!!!!

living inside a pumpkin seed, thinking of ways to me bleed.
burning things that i don't care, and eating my old underwear.
why did they take my job, just because my name was bob
not knowing what just to say, i hated my job anyway

saying things about my lies, and eating nothing but my own two eyes
here i sit chewing my cud, and all of that just because my name is mud.
why did they take my job, just because my name was bob
not knowing just what to say, i hated my job anyway

i had a good job at one point, but now i'm going out of my mind.
how the hell did i get this way, i'll tell you: i didn't get paid
why did they take my job, just because my name was bob
not knowing just what to say, i hated my job anyway.

now i have no darn job, losing my mind is not the prob,
i have this apartment where i was sent, and now i can't afford my rent.
why did they take my job, just because my name was bob?
and not knowing just what to say, i hated my job anyway

it was a good job, working the drive thru at micky d's,
the guy didn't have the right change, so i killed him
why did they take my job? that's not why they took my job
my name is not bob
i don't know what to say, i hated that job anyway

i'll just get a job like some kinda i don't know, car wash
i have a life too, y'know.

X L X  11. rubik's pubes
(the piz w/jesse)
obituary, the right time, candy pop, the.

X L X  12. reuben doesn't like that title
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
sitting in the elevator, going up and down.
listen to that crappy music, looking at the ground.
waiting for the 4th floor, hope it gets here soon,
waiting on the elevator, stuck in this cocoon.
suddenly it stops, and here comes a cop,
one with a ponytail that looks like a mop.

chorus-
wait in the lobby, don't go outside,
don't give me 'tude, i have my pride.
wait in the lobby, and don't say a thing.
if you give me a 'tude i'll say i'm king.

sneaking out the door, looking for the cop,
the one with that thing that looks like a mop,
crawling on the floor, heading toward the stairs,
the ones that move way down there.
finally we reach, the moving stairs,
that's when we see, pig with hair.

get up and run, fast as a car
feet movin fast but it don't get me far.
he's right there, badge in his hand,
elevators blocked and i know that i'm canned.
what do i do, throw up my arms,
then i scream, i mean you no harm.

[chorus]

are you 18, i hope so
if you're not, you cannot go.
show your i. d. better whip it out fast
hope you had dinner 'cause it was your last.
what to do now, i don't know
but god i'm going to be late for the show.
maybe i should run maybe i should kick,
but all i know is i got to see that flick.

[chorus]

forget it, i¹m done. i didn¹t want to see it anyway.
are you a real cop? walk the white line. count the numbers.
i bet you eat yellow 5.

X L X  13. i love you a lot.
(lyrics: robbie & reuben; music: the piz)
i love your pretty hair, i love the clothes you wear,
i love the way you smell, but we all know that you belong in hell.

chorus--
i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, die, die, die, die,
i hate you, i hate you.

i love your pretty eyes, i love when you look right into mine,
i love the way you kiss me. that scream sounds a little off key

[chorus]
reuben made up this chorus. wasn't it pretty!

X L X  14. kickin' it old school for all you g locsters ah yea boy!
(the piz)

X L X  15. yo flavor flav
(guy at gkc & robbie)
yo flavor flav, where's your gold teef?
i don't got a goatee
but y'all got the funky hubcap and y'all funky glasses; where's your gold teef?
i don't got a goatee
but flavor flav's got gold teef
i don't got a goatee
man, y'all ain't flavor flav. y'all needs to get some gold teef
i don't got a goatee

S L X  16. the pigs lizard
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
eat the pigs lizard
good for you the pigs lizard
commander and chief the pigs lizard
good happy man the pigs lizard
good for you the pigs lizard
go on and eat the pigs lizard
makes you feel good the pigs lizard
talk to it the pigs lizard
there it flies the pig lizard
grab it and hold the pigs lizard
feel the skin of the pigs lizard
have your faith in the pigs lizard
what the hell is the pigs lizard
he is the one, he is the wizard
go ahead and pet the pigs lizard
tell me how it felt with the pigs lizard
good for you the pigs lizard

X L X  17. you guys keep saying things
(the piz)
doo chh da-doo chh da-doo chh da doodledadoodleda doo chh da-doo chh beep beep baaba bou, ba baaba beep-bop bee beebaba beep bop etc.

X L X  18. *bohemian rhapsody (CD only)
(queen)

X L X  19. *jack b. nimble (CD only)
(lyrics: robbie; music: the piz)
it doesn't make any sense whatsoever
my name is jack b. nimble

--end--


guitar- reuben

drums- paul paul and paul and like 3 seconds of robbie

bass- jonbobby mcfee and the pigs outside.

vocal heads- robbie and a little spice of reuben, jonbobby mcfee and paul.

harmonica- robbie

various back ground noises- jimminy cricket, reuben and jonbobby mcfee's dad, mother nature

recorded at the drainage pipe

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