A hit from Slowly the Ghost Records:


An album that receives the acclaim of celebrity Takayuki Nakano:
just listened to "THE BEST OF pltoktijtuhtygt". I love it!!! It's the best cassette I've ever heard.

And here's what Coralhei sez about it:
We have the "best of" at the work-house ... good building music!

And also, Pixielala raves:
CULINARY SCHOOL made me pee my pants. So damn funny...

Mastered from the year 1999 radio show tapes of
May 15-16 . June 12-13 (the nude session) . June 19-20 . June 26-27 (after Udallpalooza 2) . July 3-4 . July 10-11
Hear what new material Plate & Dr. Rectangle are churning out LIVE on their radio show.

Stay tuned for Volume 2!

Side 1
1. Duckie 5/15-16
2. Boy who wanted to grow as tall as a cornstalk 6/14-15
3. 75% of the salsa is gone 7/3-4
4. When the muffins are done 7/10-11
5. Serenade the toaster 6/26-27
6. Conversation with my big toe 5/15-16
7. Uh-uh-uhh 6/26-27
8. He lived in a pumpkin 6/14-15
9. Antidote for hiccups = cheesecake 7/10-11
10. The microphone is growing hair 7/10-11
11. Out of the sewer 6/12-13
12. When you hit me over the head with a big dictionary 5/15-16
13. When I sing to the demo song 5/15-16
14. Fishie peed on me 7/10-11
15. Cut the grass with our teeth 6/26-27
16. This song sucks so bad 6/14-15
17. Culinary school 7/10-11 FOLLOW THIS LINK TO ACCESS THE AUDIO FILE BELOW
18. I had a lamp for a head 5/15-16
19. I got the blues (or somethin' like that) 7/10-11
20. Waltz with my toilet 7/10-11
21. I feel like I'm in the Chili Peppers 5/15-16
22. Song about bein' a hick 6/14-15
23. Well, y'know cheese is in cheesecake 7/10-11
24. Sound of the end of the world 7/10-11

Side 2
25. When I get a laser gun 6/14-15
26. Red & green 6/14-15
27. You dead! 6/14-15
28. I still want a laser gun! 6/14-15
29. Welcome to space 5/15-16
30. Guest appearance by Sting 5/15-16
31. Not smart crayons trouble song 6/14-15
32. Too sexy for gender 7/10-11
33. Bloody hell 7/10-11
34. Frank's toe's is a-boilin' 5/15-16
35. Song to put a model together with 6/14-15
36. I had a lamp for a head (radio mix) 5/15-16
37. The girl who smelled like cheese 5/15-16
38. Smelling people's toenails 7/3-4
39. Good down any pipe 6/12-13
40. Grampa's barn 7/10-11
41. Evil man with candy 6/14-15
42. Ate a plastic bag with somethin' inside it 6/26-27
43. Takin' my cigarette for a walk 7/3-4
44. This song rocks; ask my dog 5/15-16
45. Oh honey 6/12-13
46. This isn't a song about celery 6/14-15
47. Parakeet 7/10-11
48. I love my cow 7/3-4
49. Just another stupid love ballad 7/10-11


Side A


1. Duckie
5/15-16

If I had three arms,
I wouldn't hafta wear the other side of my strap on my overalls.
Here's a lil' song about a duck.
Duckie, you were always so sweet
To me
You were fluffy and ya didn't eat wheat
With me
Hi, little Duckie
When I'm feelin' low
You shared your pond with me
And your quack
Gave me a heart attack
But I got better
So did you,
Duckie
Now we're just ducky
(Duckie)
Yeah, we're just ducky
(Duckiee)
Goddammit, what're you doing, yer peckin' my eyes out
(DUCKIEEE!)
Ah, that kind of hurts, ahhhh!!!
(DUCKIEEE!!! QUACK!!!!)
I think I'm dead


2. Boy who wanted to grow as tall as a cornstalk
6/14-15

There once was a boy
He lived on a farm
He liked to play in the dirt
He always wanted to grow as tall as a cornstalk
He had a pet dog
His dog's name was Spot
It was a great relationship they had
As any farm boy would know
Then one day they went for a walk
They fell asleep in a field
And a tractor almost ran them over
But along came Superman and saved the day
You can see this in movies 'cos it really happened
Yup


3. 75% of the salsa is gone
7/3-4

Yeah we aren't
But for the salsa-lovers
Everywhere else besides the Vinals'
Household, they're in deep doo doo
'Cos 75% of salsa is gone
A little bug came to New
Mexico and took away the peppers
Now the salsa is gone
So as you're eating your salsa tonight,
Don't forget my words:
The salsa is gonna be gone


4. When the muffins are done
7/10-11

When the muffins, are done
Gotta take them out of the oven
Or they'll be burned
And no one in this family's going to eat a burned muffin
Even if it's blueberry
Even if it's banana nut
When the muffins are done, we have to take them out of the oven
Or they'll burn
As if in hell
And no one will eat a muffin if they think it's come from hell
Even if it's blueberry
Even if it's banana nut
'Cos Satan, he eats muffins
He likes the burned ones
When the muffins are done, we must take them out of the oven


5. Serenade the toaster
6/26-27

Serenade your icebox
You know ya wanna sing
Sing to the fridge
Sing it
Serenade the fridge
Serenade the toaster
Serenade the sink
Serenade the stove
Serenade der dishwasher
Serenade the toaster—AGAIN!
The toaster needs another song
The toaster's feeling lonely
The toaster's feeling crummy
Today
Serenade the toaster
Sing the toaster a song
No appliance appreciates a song like a good toaster
Serenade the toaster
He's feeling really crummy
Serenade the toaster
Serenade the toaster
He's feeling really crummy
Serenade the toaster
Drum solo
Take the toaster out on the town
Guaranteed to make your bread brown
Buy your toaster some whole wheat
As a special treat
Serenade the toaster


6. Conversation with my big toe
5/15-16

When it's time for a piss break
And I'm sittin' in the chat room
And no one's sayin' anything
Then I look at my toes
Gonna have a good conversation
With my big toe
"Hey, big toe, how're you doing?"
"Oh, just fine, Kat"
We talk about the weather
We talk about the empty chat room
How quiet it is,
Cursor blinking sadly
And we concoct some theories
About piss breaks and such
And we discuss politics
My big toe's a Democrat
I'm with the Green Party
So's my thumb
I have a Green thumb
Sometimes my toes wrestle my thumbs
Wooo!
And a big spider crawls across the carpet
Really fast
And it's crawling toward Reuben's feet
Oh it's right there
It's gonna get you
It's hiding under the turntable
Oh there it is
It keeps coming out
It's stupid
That's a hit


7. Uh-uh-uhh
6/26-27

That's good
Uhhhhh-uhhhhhh-uuuuuuuh
Uuuhhh-uuuuhhh-uuuuuhhh
How's that?
Uuuuuh-uuuhhhh-uuuuuhhh
Uuuuuh-uuuuhhh-uuuuuhhh


8. He lived in a pumpkin
6/14-15

Yeah, that's more like it
But it needs to be augmented
With a fat bassline
He lived in a pumpkin
He lived it in a pumpkin
His name was Goooooooooooordon
Get it? Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhh
He had an uncle
He was from Ireland
His name was
Jack O'Lantern hahahaa
He lived in a pumpkin


9. Antedote for hiccups = cheesecake
7/10-11

I got the hiccups
And the only thing that can help my hiccups would be cheesecake
Cheesecake is the number-one cure
The antedote for hiccups is well-known-to-be
Here it comes
Cheesecake!


10. The microphone is growing hair
7/10-11

When the microphone grows hair, it's a scary ordeal
When the microphone grows hair, I think I should leave the sta-a-ate
Microphone's growing hair, and that's not normal
Microphone's growing hair, it's not good at all
Microphone's growing thick weird hair,
And I don't understand where it's coming from
Why's the microphone growing hair?
The microphone's growing hair, I'll have to take it to a hairdresser
And pay five dollars to have a trim
'Cos the microphone's growing hair, and it's not normal
Gotta help the microphone join a 12-step program
It's okay, Microphone, we'll support you
The microphone stand will support you
The microphone's growing hair-ee-air


11. Out of the sewer
6/12-13

Rover, come back here!
Get out of that sewer!
Rover, Rover, get back here!
I'll give you bacon bits!
Come on, Rover!
Come on, Rover, how 'bout
Oh I dunno, Jerkey Treats?!
Come on, buddy!


12. When you hit me over the head with a big dictionary
5/15-16

When you hit me over the head with a big dictionary,
It made my head all flat on the top
And I'll tell you what, Harvey,
I didn't appreciate that no no no no
It's paybacks time
I'm gonna put some wires in your coffee, Harvey
You ain't gonna suspect a damn thing, Harvey
When you pour that creamer in,
You're gonna get a JOLT, Harvey
Next time you have a dictionary, Harvey,
Use the guide words at the top of the page instead


13. When I sing to the demo song
5/15-16

When I sing to the demo song,
Everybody hates it
Everytime I sing to the demo song,
Everyone, they hate it
Don't they know the demo song
Is my favourite?
Don't they know
That they
Aren't like me?
Don't they know I like to sing
To the demo song?
I like singing to the demo song
Don't they know
When I press the keys, I change the chords
And I make make the demo song into
A song for me?
I love the demo song
I don't care
I love the demo song
It's made of hair
Yeah, alright
Everytime I sing to the demo song,
People hate it
They say I suck, but I don't caaaaare
I like the demo song just fine
And they think I'm out of my mind
Hey, that rhymed
It's time to fade
The demo songggg
'Cos I love it
I don't care what you think
No, you suck
It's my favorite
Demo soooooooOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNggggg


14. Fishie peed on me
7/10-11

The fishie peed
The fishie peed on me
The fishie peed in the sea
The fishie peed on me-e
Yeah
The fishie pee was yellow
And it made me bellow,
"The fishie peed on me!"
I was all wet
In the sea
With fishie pee
Ugh!
UGHHHH!!


15. Cut the grass with our teeth
6/26-27

We cut the grass with our teeth
In this town
We cut the grass with our teeth
In this town
We like the grass that's green, not brown
We cut the grass with our teeth in this town
We cut the grass with our teeth in this town
We like the green grass and not the brown


16. This song sucks so bad
6/14-15

I can't sing to a song that sucks like this
This song sucks so bad
Nothing personal, Song, but you suck
See you on Adult Contemporary charts Huhuhuhuhuh


17. Culinary school 7/10-11

Hooh-hooh-hooh-hooh-let's start to rock
In a wussy way
Oh, when you do that thing, it's like I'm a wussy all over agai-hen
Like you're just playin' the guitar
For the first time
And I'm a wussy too
Wussy time is the greatest time of the year
It's time to pick the flowers
It's time to make some muffins
It's time to make Belgian waffles
With frilly little dollops of whipped cream
And perfectly placed berries
I want to go into culinary school
I want to make waffles
I want to make the wussy waffles the way they do in New York
For $36 a plate
With the beautiful syrup
I want to go to culinary school
And learn to make the muffins the way they make them
In the big cities
For $15 a pop
Oh, you want nuts with that?
That'll be $17
I wanna wear the poofy white hat
I wanna wear it now
I want to wear the poofy white hat
I want to be a wussy
I want to wear the poofy white hat
And make the Belgian waffles that are $36
I want to wear the poofy white hat
I want to be the wussy chef that makes the waffles
And the muffins for $15
$17 with nuts
That's right, my friend
Now leave a tip
I'll give you some syrup
It'll be pretty
Woo-hoo, you're a wussy!
Thank you, I always wanted to be a wussy.


18. I had a lamp for a head
5/15-16

I said we're gonna play some Santana
I had a lamp for a head, yeah
Got me in lots of trouble in fifth grade, yeahhh
Teacher said, "You ain't too bright, child,"
And I said, "Yeah? *click*"
I had a lamp for a head
I had a lamp for a head
I could take 60 watt, 100 watt, 120 watt
Any kind of bulb, yeah
I had a lamp for a head
(He had a lamp for a head)
I had a lamp for a head
(Oh-oohh)
I had a lamp head
(Lamp head)
I had a lamp for a head
It was shocking
I was a brilliant student
(He had a)
Lamp for a head
(he had a lamp)
Lamp for a head


19. I got the blues (or somethin' like that)
7/10-11

I got the blues (or somethin' like that)
I got the blues (or somethin' like that)
But I got the blues (or somethin' like that)
Not the purples
Not the browns


20. Waltz with my toilet
7/10-11

When I waltz with the toilet, everyone looks at me funny!
I like to waltz with my toilet—swish swish swiiishhh
I gotta have some fun, take the toilet ooout on the town!
Gotta waltz with my toilet
Two-steppin'
Three-steppin', four, fox trot, tango
Samba?
American jive.
I dance with the toilet
The toilet dances with me
We're a wonderful pair of dancers:
Just the toilet and me
Oh, where'd you learn that step, Toilet?
Oh, I see
Aaah.
(We give them a 10!)
Oh Toilet, I always knew we'd win!


21. I feel like I'm in the Chili Peppers
5/15-16

Wow, I feel like I'm in the Chili Peppers
This is so good!
Gotta jump up and down and be shiny
Swing my hair around
Go get a tattoo


22. Song about bein' a hick
6/14-15

I wanna song about bein' a hick
I wanna song that's all about bein' a hick
I wanna song 'bout wrestlin' in the mud with the piiigs
I need a song bein' a hick
Like t' chew on a piece o' hay
Listen to the donkey's bray


23. Well, y'know cheese is in cheesecake
7/10-11

That sounds like the cheese song
The girl that smells like cheese song
But I don't wanna sing that song tonight
'Cos well y'know that cheese is in cheesecake
And I think I've made enough people hungry tonight for cheesecake
So I don't want to say cheese
'Cos cheese is in cheesecake
And it might make people hungry and upset
That's right
'Cos a world without cheesecake's bad
And the people all get real mad
And say, "Where's my cheesecake goddammit?"
So I'm not gonna say the word,
Y'know it starts with a C
It ends with an E-e-e
And it's yuh-huh-huh-mmy
Not gonna say it, Frank, you can't make me say the cheesecake word
Whoops
Oh man


24. Sound of the end of the world
7/10-11

This is the sound
Of the end of the world
End of the world
End of the world
So when you hear this sound, you know
That it's the sound of the end of the world
'Cos this is the sound of the end of the world
We're glad you like it
'Cos it's the sound of the end of the world!


Side B

25. When I get a laser gun 6/14-15

*ZAP* BOOM! pppsskttkkkeee!!
When I get a laser gun
Everyone'll be sorry
Sorry they ever crossed me
When I have a laser gun


26. Red & green
6/14-15

Y'know what! I'm still singin' 'bout a laser gun
'Cos I really, I still, I still,
I still want one
They don't have 'em at Wal-Mart yet
But I know they come in two kinds
They've got the red and the green kind
And I know which colour I want
I still, I still,
I still wanna laser gun!
He tried to change the song
But I still want one!
I want a laser gun—either the red or the green
They're not at Wal-Mart yet but I can be really mean
Once I have my laser gun
And I won't stop singing yet
So don't you don't you dare end this song
'Cos I still want a laser gun!
That's right, you better just keep playin'
'Cos I want a laser gun
You better not end this song
'Cos I want a laser gun
I still want one
When I get a laser gun,
It's gonna be green
And when I've got a laser gun,
I'm gonna look really mean
And I'm going to make you play this song for the rest of your life
And you better believe it, hon',
'Cos, man, I want a laser gun
And I don't want you to end this song
I still want a laser gun
And I'm gonna kill ya if I'm wrong
So don't cross my path, boy
You're dead if you end this song now
Huhuhuhhh


27. You dead!
6/14-15

Oh yeah, like this
You're dead
**zapzapzap** uh!
You dead
You shouldn'ta ended the song


28. I still want a laser gun!
6/14-15

'Cos I still want a laser gun
Don't end this song or you're dead
I still want a laser gun
I don't care if it's red
I want the green really, but okay
I'll take the red one too
If I had one green and one red then I could make BROWN lasers
Wouldn't that be fun
I want a laser gun
I'm gettin' trigger happy
I know Wal-Mart's gonna be
Stockin' 'em soon,
Man Huhhehhhahhauh
I want a laser gun
I still ain't got one yet
I still want a laser gun
Yeah, that's a sure bet
I want green one but I'd settle for red
And if you stop playing now, yer gonna be dead
'Cos I'll SHOOT ya
With my laser gun!
**zapzapzap** uhh!
This is the song that never ends 'cos I still want a gun
I still ain't got it yet
I want a laser gun
**zapzapzapzap** uhh!


29. Welcome to space
5/15-16

Hello, welcome to space
On your tour of the
Solar System
I'd like to draw your attention to,
Y'know, your left window
Out there you'll see
Mercury
Mercury goes around the sun rather fast
Hence his name, Mercury
I don't know which planet's next, so I guess we'll find out
Hmmm
Venus! Maybe
Sure, yeah, that's Venus
Sister planet of the earth
Named after that love goddess of the LUVeR radio station
Aannhhh, we'll skip that planet
Mars, we all know about Mars, blah whatever
Watch out for that asteroid!
Yo, Jazzy Jupiter
With the big red eye
When I fly
Around the sun
Oh boy I'm bulky
Wasn't it funny
When that comet ran into my eye
And made it all red?
I took it though
I'm buff
I'm Jupiter
Yo, none of the other planets matter!
Someday I'm gonna run them all off
Into their own solar system
I don't think the Solar System's big enough for the . . .
Eight of us
Wait a minute, there're nine, aren't there
Pluto's fake
Pluto's just a pet planet
Pet planet of Neptune, bleh


30. Guest appearance by Sting
5/15-16

(Roxanne you don't have to turn on the red light)
Oh God! Sting!
What're you doing here in my living room!?
(Message in a—)
(Doo doo doo da da—)
Sting, baby, what are you on?
(Is all I've got to say to you)
(I'll always be king of pain)
Sting? Sting? Sting, please leave
Please go ride a horse
Please
Sting, please leave
(Doo doo da da, fields of gold)
(Message in a bottle)
(You don't have to turn on the red light)
(I'll always be king of pain)
(Walking on the moon)


31. Not smart crayons trouble song
6/14-15

When I was two
I had some crayons
I went to school
With my crayons
I got in trouble
I got in trouble
I got in trouble bad
I wasn't really two
I was in first grade
I got my crayons
I got my crayons
I got 'em
Huh huh huh
I got my crayons huh huhh huhhh
I got 'em
I had brick red and yellow
And yellow red and brick black
But my favourite colour is clear
I got in trouble
In first grade
'Cos I tried to sharpen the crayons in the pencil sharpener in school
That was a true story, except it didn't happen to me
I'm scared!
Let's do another song!
This one's too scary!


32. Too sexy for gender
7/10-11

Yo, this song's for all the sexy people out there
Yeah
People who're too sexy for age
People who're too sexy for location
People who're too sexy for gender
Yeah


33. Bloody hell
7/10-11

We've got ten minutes left
We have to make a really rockin' brit rock song
BRIT ROCK!
When I went to the loo-hoo
Oh, oh, oh oh
When I went to the loo-oo
Then I went to my ca-ar
And I opened up the bonnet
And I took a peek inside
And it looked like a loo
Ooo-hoo
UGHHH!!
BLOODY HELL!
BLOODY HELL


34. Frank's toe's is a-boilin'
5/15-16

Frank's toe's is a-boilin'
Like dem 'tators
Frank's toe's a-boilin'
(In hot water)
Mashed potatoes, boilin' toes, an' boilin' toss
Oh
That's gotta hurt
Frank's toe's a-boilin', boilin', boilin'
Not tepid
Oh man, it scathes
That's hot


35. Song to put a model together with
6/14-15

This sounds like a song you put a model together with
You listen to this song while you're gluing the parts together
Eventually maybe you make a plane made of plastic
That's quite smaller than the original plane
But it's still a scale size
And maybe you could put some thread through
A little hole in it and you hang it from the ceiling
And let it collect dust the rest of your adolescent years
Until one day
Sometime in the middle of high school
When you feel like taking it down
Late at night when your friends are over
And lighting the thing on fire
And watching it melt
And reveling in that melted plastic scent
As high schoolers tend to do
Wooo-hooo!


36. I had a lamp for a head (radio mix)
5/15-16

Yeah guitar!
Yeah this is the radio mix
He had a lamp for a head
(He had a)
Lamp for a head
(He had a)
A lamp for a head
Oh my god it's fading
Oh god it's fading


37. The girl who smelled like cheese
5/15-16

There was a girl
She smelled like cheese
They always said,
"Oh pleeeease!
Go away
You smell like Swiss cheese
Girl, just go away"
Ew, cheese
She had that limberger P-U!
Euuh! You could make a fondue!
P-U! That girl smelled like cheese
And everyone said,
"Oh PLEASE!
Go away, cheese girl"


38. Smelling people's toenails
7/3-4

Let's go out and smell people's toenails
See if they've got some fungi in their nails
Some people say that I'm a fun guy, yeah
Let's go out and smell people's fingernails


39. Good down any pipe
6/12-13

Yeah!
I like chocolate milk!
Unh! Yeah! Hoo!
Yeah! Ooo! Makes me hyper, unghh!
I like that chocolate milk!
It's so cool and refreshing!
A really big glass! AAAH!!
Oh, I like chocolate milk!
Oh, I like it, oh!
AAAHHH, I took it down the wrong pipe!!!
I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
I LIKE IT DOWN ANY PIPE!!
I don't care!
Ughh!! AAAAAHHHH!!!
CHOCOLATE!!
Oh, I like drinking
Bring it on
Chocolate milk!
(Chocolate mi-ilk)
Oh yeah bring it on
(Chocolate milk)
CHOCOLATE!!!
It's good down any pipe


40. Grampa's barn
7/10-11

I think it's time to sing a hick song
I love a hick song
Alrighty
Hick song, here we come
That's okay
Okay
(Goddammit)
Well I went to grampa's farm
And I stayed in the barn
He didn't give me a bed
No sir
I went to grampa's farm
And I had to sleep in the barn
(Goddammit goddammit)
Well I slept in the nice hay
And I listened to the donkey's bray
(Goddammit)
I got to know the duckies
I got to know the cows
I got to know that old mare, sow
(Goddammit)
I went to grampa's farm
And I had to sleep, I had to sleep in his big red barn
(Goddammit)
Thank you


41. Evil man with candy
6/14-15

Hey sonny com'ere
I've got a piece of candy fer ya
Oh come on over, it's alright
Heh heh heh
I pressed the lion


42. Ate a plastic bag with somethin' inside it
6/26-27

One time I ate a plastic bag
It had somethin' inside it
What was it?
It was a plastic bag with somethin' inside it
I ate it
I put salt on it
But not any ketchup because it's red
And I don't like the colour red because it's dead
Ohhh on second thought, I like red a lot
'Cause I like things that are dead a lot
Well I ate the plastic bag
But next time I eat it, I'll have ketchup on it
'Cause I like red now
Oh, I messed up
Huh huh
I wish I knew what was in the plastic bag because I ate it
I hope it wasn't poison or nails or something like that
I hope it wasn't something that was alive
And is crawling in my stomach right now
Like a mouse or rabbit or an alligator or a snake or horse or a hippo or an elephant
But oh wait I don't think that those would fit in the plastic bag
So I guess it wasn't an elephant
Which is pretty good because an elephant is bigger than me
So it would be bigger than my stomach
And I would die


43. Takin' my cigarette for a walk
7/3-4

Takin' my cigarette for a walk
Lit it up, now walkin' down the street
Swinging it at my side, that's the way it's gotta be
I gotta take my cigarette for a walk
Walking down the street after I lit that thing
Now I'm swinging it by my side and I don't take a drag at all
I just take my cigarette for a walk
Walk walk walk walk walk
Takin' my cigarette for a walk
Making people pass out to my left and right
Take my cigarette for a walk
It's a Marl-boro Light


44. This song rocks; ask my dog
5/15-16

This is the song you'll never hear
But it really rocks, man
Ask my dog
This song, it rocks, rocks
This song, it rocks, ask my dog
This is a song they'll never
They'll never know how much it rocks
They'll never know how much my dog loves this song
They'll never know
How much
This song
ROCKS


45. Oh honey
6/12-13

Oooooooh honey
Oh honey
Oh honey
Woo-hoo-ooo-hoo!
Oh honey


46. This isn't a song about celery
6/14-15

My God, how're you making those noises?
This isn't a song about celery!
But those strings, they get in my teeth
And I can't get 'em ooooout!
You're so green and lean
How can I resist?
Oh celery
Oh yeah celery
I'm serious about you
I see you in that grocery store aisle—
Oh my Lord!
I think you're high in fiber
And low in taste


47. Parakeet
7/10-11

When the parakeet bit my arm, I thought I was gonna die
When the parakeet bit my arm, then it flew away
And I saw that sucker fly
When the parakeet bit my arm, it also bit my leg
When the parakeet bit my leg, it also bit my nose
Goddamn parakeet
(Goddammit)
When the parakeet
(Goddammit)
When the parakeet bit my arm, it also bit my face
He bit my eyeball in two
(Goddammit)
Goddamn parakeet


48. I love my cow
7/3-4

Z
Gotta get into character
Almost there
I can almost feel it:
Those pork rinds in my stomach
Almost there
I love my cow
I love my cow
She's all spotted and cleeean
Cleaner than a pig
She's never ever mean
She's the cow I dig
To use a hippie word
I love my cow
I love my cow cow cow
Yeah I love my cow
Hey I wanted to sing about my cow


49. Just another stupid love ballad
7/10-11

French fries? Oh
Just another stupid love ballad
And you know don't want to hear the chorus
Just another stupid love ballad
A man loves a woman blah blah
And you knooow
It would really rock if we did . . .
But we're just fooling you
It's just another dumb love ballad
And you don't want to hear the chorus
We're gonna fool you again
Gonna— fool you— into— thinking—
That this song could rock
This song could rock
But it doesn't
It's another stupid love ballad
And it's pretty much acoustic
It doesn't rock at all
It's about a man who loves a woman blah blah
We will fool you one more time and that's all
We're gonna— make you—
Think that this song could rock
It could rock
It could rock
But it doesn't
This song is a love ballad
It's pretty much acoustic
It's about a man who loves a woman blah blah
It sucks, this song, and I hate it
And I hope that you do too
'Cos this song, it really could have made it
If . . . only . . . we . . . used . . .
The pedal
And worn tight clothes
And big hair
With make-up
And spit on the crowd